What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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