If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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