Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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