he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Farmville is her only friend.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
