theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think your dad took our porno
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
