Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize