it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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