I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
