one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
