at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
