How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
