Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
