i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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