I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
