I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
