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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
