I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
