he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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