My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
