How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
