My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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