i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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