I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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