i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
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