I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
