A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
