I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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