This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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