Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
