nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
