If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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