Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
