The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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