My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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