I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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