You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The power of my boobs compel you
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
