if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Still dying that you shit outside
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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