i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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