Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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