My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
