I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
