how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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