Plan B is the new Plan A
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize