Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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