It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
two words: eviction party
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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