There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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