their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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