i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Mom said you looked used
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
