theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
