Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
