I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
