Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
