Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
third nipple confirmed
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize