I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
