franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
