Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
