Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm passing your future prison.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
