I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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