No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Pappa wants mamma naked
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
im calling her cock vulture from now on
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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