Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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