Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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